Summer is right around the corner, yet you are wearing fuzzy socks and layers of clothes. My freshman year, I remember always wearing sweatshirts and jackets, even during the blazing summer days. After gymnastics practice, everyone would be covered in sweat and I would still be putting on a coat before I left.
After eating so little for so long, your stomach has physically shrunken. It tricks your mind into thinking you are full, even after eating so little. Your body has also adapted to living on such a small amount of food. It makes the food you do decide to eat last forever since your stomach knows it won’t be getting much more.
During the worst of my eating disorder, I never paid much attention to the different macronutrients. My sole focus was calories. My fears were all based around calorie contents. If something was high in calories, it automatically became a fear. It didn’t matter what it was. I had to know the calorie amounts of everything I ate. I couldn’t eat above a set amount of calories. I let calories control my life.
I just finished up another eating disorder recovery book that I want to share with you. This one is a memoir called “Elena Vanishing” written by Elena Dunkle and her mom.
I want you to know that you are special, no matter what.